Stylish Revision of My Novel

While I revise my medieval novel set in England during the reign of Edward II I get rid of repeated words and phrases.

I also rephrase sentences which contain gerunds that I tend to over use. For example:-

I changed "...trying to smooth away his pain" to "in an attempt to smooth away his pain."

Another examples follow.

I replaced "Yvonne broke her fast in the great hall before going..." with "Yvonne broke her fast in the great hall before she went..."

After I tweak the next 100 pages I shalll read the novel from beginning to end to check I for the last time.

I hope that the rewrite will be stylish after so much hard work.